Children do not choose to initiate a divorce between their mother and father, the parents do. But even though they have no choice in the matter, they still have to deal with the repercussions of their parents' choices. Parents can make this process more simple for their children, or they can make it more complicated.
In order to make it more simple, parents can do a few key things. They can limit their negative interactions in front of their children, choose not to talk negatively about their ex spouse directly to their children, and offer the services of a family counselor to the children so they have a licensed professional to talk to about this new transition.
By limiting negative interactions in front of children, parents are able to shield their children from the raw negativity that they often feel for their ex during these early stages of separation. Children are usually not emotionally mature enough to understand what you are going through, and therefore can be very shaken by the sight of vicious arguments between their parents.
When kids are in middle and high school, parents have often developed a friendship with them, and may confide in them for different things in their life. During a divorce, it becomes very difficult for children if parents employ this technique. By confiding directly to your older child or young adult, you are putting them in a tough position. They either have to tell you they disagree with you, which is hard to do when you see your parents in pain, or they end up siding with you and harboring very negative feelings for their other parent.
Even when parents follow the first two suggestions, their children still may have quite a bit of trouble dealing with the transition of no longer having both their parents living together in the same home. Because this transition is so great in the sight of a child, they ought to have the opportunity to speak to a licensed counselor who deals with family separation. Talking to someone about the divorce can help the kids to find peace and regularity again.
So even though divorce is hard for moms and dads, as parents they need to think about doing what is best for their children in this process. They should try to limit negative interactions in front of children, avoid talking directly to a child about their negative feelings toward their ex spouse, and give the children the opportunity to discuss their situation with a trained counselor.
Crystal Lambert-Schroeder is a lawyer in Vancouver Washington who specializes in family law issues. If you're dealing with divorce, child custody, adoption, spousal maintenance, or another family law issue, call Crystal today. You don't need to spend much time searching online for a Vancouver Washington Divorce Attorney, just call Crystal Lambert-Schroeder at Lambert Law Office, PLLC.
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